Please.

Its three in the morning. Sleep is a place you'd think I'd want to be right now.

I just don't understand. Please someone explain it to me.

I want answers that I am never going to get. I thought we were better than that, you said you loved me so how can you do this like this?

How can you say "We don't want the same things"? What the hell is it you want then? I want to be in love, and married to my best friend, and babies, and have a successful career that I enjoy. PLEASE for God's sake explain how that is not what you want?

Why do I have to be the severed dead weight? When shit goes down don't you want to be able to lean on your partner and tell them your fears, and worries, and struggles? That is what a lover and friend is supposed to do, carry your burdens for you when yours get too much to handle. Is it better wallowing in the sorrow AND being alone?

I have never had a relationship like the one I had (boy its hard to type past tense) with you. There was never a time when I was not 100% completely myself. I told you everything, every thought, every question, every detail, every everything. I told you things that I have never EVER shared with anyone.

Then you feed me the line again"We don't want the same things."

Who is it!? Who is it that convinced you to do this? To get rid of me? Someone had to plant that thought in your head. Is it really that much better without me? I don't understand.

I brought you to my family. I keep my family guarded. I don't like to bring anyone over. I can count on one hand the amount of dates I've brought home. I did that because I wanted you to get to know everyone, after all I had thought they would be your family some day too.

I am just so at a loss. I feel like I have been hit by a freight train and all of the pressure is in my chest. Make it go away. Its more difficult to breathe with each breath. Make it go away. Please.

I didn't do anything but love you the best way I know how. I'm sure I could have gotten better at some things but I love you with every part of me and that is not enough? I love you in so many different ways. The "I want to rip your clothes off" love, the "Oh just look at how adorable his face is" love, the "I can't believe how good this man is with children I love him so much" love, the "his family is kinda crazy but in the most amazingly lovable way I want to be part of them someday" love and ways that I did not think was possible. My heart just always gushed for you.

I'm sorry if I'm a little broken, and not perfect, but I gave you everything. Now I feel like I'm just a ghost of myself, my everything is gone. You have it all, I gave it all to you, and just putting it aside does not give it back to me.

You did not even have the decency to tell me in person.

I had no indication this was happening. For God's sake you write a card like that to Rob and then give me the boot 2 days later?

Please please please just make it stop, just make it go away. Please.

I love you, and I don't understand why.

Please.